tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26577816980593033482012-02-15T23:32:43.931-08:00sarahsunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724599677730064380noreply@blogger.comBlogger21100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2657781698059303348.post-5450342028784000072007-03-20T18:00:00.000-07:002007-03-20T18:07:41.729-07:00If I had to say what my biggest issue is I would say it is insecurity.<br /><p>It tends to poison relationships, and my confidence in a variety of social settings. I wish I could feel more positively about myself, but instead I compare and judge, and find myself lacking.</p>Does anyone else obsess about their own flaws?<br />I assert that I am a feminist, a strong woman who is not defined by her appearance, yet I am my harshest critic. I am always in need of losing that elusive 5-10 pounds.<br />Why am I not disgusted by my own <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">vanity</span>, and compelled to think about more important things?<br /><br /><br />sigh<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2657781698059303348-545034202878400007?l=halfcrazycrazyhalf.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>sarahsunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724599677730064380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2657781698059303348.post-28565359194841072902007-03-20T17:34:00.000-07:002007-03-20T17:44:21.071-07:00<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ok</span> I admit it. I created this blog to rant.<br />Is that a bad thing?<br /><br />The back (read: boring story)<br /><br />I am in a relationship. I am in love. This has being going on for over a year. Before that (right before, cough, cough), I was in a relationship that lasted almost 3 years. I am now realizing how <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">similar</span> both the men in my life have been. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">fyi</span>: I am 23. Their similarities, are freaking me out. More importantly, I get mad at them for identical things, which just suggests that it is my own insecurities and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">neuroses</span>, playing out over and over.<br /><br />How do I overcome this? It makes me sad that he no longer looks at me with such unconditional adoration. It makes me sad how easily I irritate him. It makes me frustrated how annoying I can be. But I just keep doing the same thing over and over....<br /><br />I do think I have given him too much info. I tell him about every crazy thing that I think, which surely makes him think differently of me (wow you are not the hot smart confident woman I thought you were) and gives him the upper hand. I tell him everything. I know he does not do the same for me.<br /><br />most recent "sunshine trigger"<br /><br />I confess, I know his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">friendster</span>/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">myspace</span>/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">facebook</span> page and he does not know that I do.<br />For the most part there is nothing on there to offend. But recently:<br /><br />he is going out with a male buddy of his I have never met. He is not inviting me. He has invited some other girl to go with him, an old friend of his I have also never met. He has not told me this. Last time he hung out with this gir he did not invite me.<br />Should I be suspicious/angry? I am, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">honestly</span>.<br /><br />thoughts?<br /><br />(yes I know no one reads this, but nonetheless)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2657781698059303348-2856535919484107290?l=halfcrazycrazyhalf.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>sarahsunshinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05724599677730064380noreply@blogger.com3